Practical psychology, body language, human anatomy, gender identity and BDSM.

Mistress Lux

Let’s dive into some important topics.

As a Domme, I believe you need to have knowledge about topics such as practical psychology, body language and human anatomy. And for the work I also do, knowledge about gender normativity. I have spent lots of time studying these topics before getting back into the Pro Domme industry. I want to be able to guide my subs the best way I can. For them to thrive with me in this world.

Human Anatomy

This is something I have learned during two of my previous vanilla jobs. I had a salon where I helped people with fibromyalgia, Lyme disease and sport injuries by giving massages, (EMS/TENS) electronic muscle stimulation and workouts plans. I also used to work at archaeological dig sites where I would recover ancient human remains. Doing this, I have gained a lot of knowledge about the human body, knowledge I now use every day.

Body language

Reading body language is a very important thing to know being a Domme, because not everyone is able to verbally tell me their limit. People can shut down or not want to disappoint the Domme or themselves. I have read many books and followed online courses on this important subject. After countless sessions, I have learned that this a very important set of skills: To read somebody, and know how the person feels.

Practical psychology

Again, a topic I studied for years. I was raised as a Jehovah’s witness. Things like BDSM, gender identity and women being dominant, was not something that was easy to explore. I made the choice to leave my whole life and family behind, so I could become the person who I am today.

Even in this day and age, BDSM is still considered as something strange. The people that are into this will often be called ‘freaks’. However, many studies have shown that people who give themselves space to discover the world of BDSM, will become very strong individuals. Of course, we should keep in mind that there are also dangerous people in this scene, who do not consider other people and their feelings, work from a narcissistic mindset and lack the ability of good cognitive thinking. Fortunately, the largest part of this community, are amazing and wonderful individuals.

Life is short and it is good to embrace yourself

BDSM is about trust. I want my clients to be able to talk to me. I want to understand what triggers them. Creating a journey together, where I guide their exploration in to BDSM.

Last year, I started doing BDSM coaching: From helping couples start an FLR (Female Led Relationship), by telling them how to start doing this at home while keeping each other’s needs in mind, to guiding dominant women who want to become pro Dommes. As stated in my text, I do not allow everybody to book a session with me. Before I send out a booking link, we first have a little chat. I ask you to check out my website and session options to see what will work for you and what will not. It is important to find the right session that matches your mindset.

On my website you will find that I do humiliation limited. If someone wants this to be the main focus of the session, I have an intake before we would do this.

Some session options like my B&B (body bag, bondage or bench and breakfast) are only possible to book if we have already had a short session beforehand.

This is the case because we need to have a click and enough trust for a submissive to surrender like that. An overnight session has to be exciting for your psyche, but not a mentally uncomfortable experience. A while ago, I reached out to a psychologist, hoping that within a few years I can do some extra studies surrounding this topic and gender normativity.  Afterwards, I’m planning on writing a book about this topic.

Gender identity and my work

This is a topic where we still see a lot of shame and hate around it. This should not be the case, as I said before, the people who explore the world of BDSM and their gender are mostly strong individuals.

I am a gender transformation makeup artist and with my BDSM sessions I do lots of gender transformations. With my other non-BDSM businesses, like Trans Makeover and Trans Academy, we do this as well. It is an important topic for me, that’s close to my heart. I am a cis woman, but when I was younger, I had doubts about my gender as well. I was more dominant and tough than most other girls around me while also being interested in women, trans and crossdressers. The word ‘pansexual’ was not in my vocabulary yet. At the age of 16, I was standing on my own two feet. This was the moment I started exploring these topics. During that time, I also started exploring crossdressing.

Eventually, my feminine side became more dominant. It was a long journey to realize the perfect feminine vision I had for myself. I can honestly say I’m happy I got there, and if I ever feel like I want to be more muscular, I can always crossdress.

I do believe, due to my background, everything I have learned over the years, all the makeovers and coaching sessions that I did, that I am able to create a safe space. Trans Academy also guides people in their cross-dressing and transition by teaching them about feminine make-up, behavior, movement and styling. I have been a designer in the fashion industry for a while now. Last year, I did a fashion week runway collection that also featured cross-dressing models and trans women. For this, I studied how different types of female bodies look and how to dress femme. I hope to dive even deeper into this amazing topic in the future.

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